Do I trust God to take care of me and do what is best for me, or do I tell Him, "No, God, if you allowed that to happen, or took him/her/it away, I would just give up"? I'm afraid Tim Keller's book caused a lot of soul-searching for me. It was good, though, because it brought me closer to Him, which is what I want (most of the time).
One of my favorite songs we sing in church contains these words:
"Every blessing you pour out I'll turn back to praise.
And when the darkness closes in, Lord, still I will say:
Blessed be the name of the Lord!" ("Blessed Be Your Name" by Matt Redman)
When I sing that song, I truly am desiring to let God be in control of my life and trust Him in ALL circumstances. But, of course, when real life happens, I struggle with "letting go".
It's a scary thing to think that I'm not the master of my little universe. However, when I really think about it, it's scarier to think what it would be like if God gave the controls over to me. I know it would result in utter chaos.
So, I praise the One who is the Master. And I fall at His feet and ask forgiveness for my pride and my unbelief. (God, be merciful to me, a sinner.)
Soli Deo Gloria!